I just escaped a three hour heinous “lunch” “meeting” during which I resorted to amusing myself by playing the I Watched Inception for the 23424th Time Last Night & am Wasting My Mental Facilities by Daydreaming about Random Celebrities as the Dream Architect game. I’m an unbelievable nerd, so this is hardly surprising. My two favorite scenarios:
(1) Katy Perry
Cobb: Let’s go. I estimate we only have ten minutes to locate the Chancellor and track her to the location of the lock box. Anyone have any final questions?
Eames: I too have a question. Who the fuck designed this dream?
Ariadne: Yes. Yes, thank you.
Eames: Aren’t we supposed to be in Berlin?
Arthur: Nothing, I guess. I suppose I simply wasn’t aware of Germany’s recently adopted policy that all historical statues must be replaced by oversized cotton candy replicas of Katy’s breasts.
Eames: And Cobb. I know languages aren’t your strength, love, but that sign over there says that in order to gain entry to Reichstag, you must feed the security guards gumdrops. The security guards who are clad in pink latex hot pants covered in what appears to be fake fruit and bubblegum lip gloss on a string.
Cobb: Oh, shit.
Ariadne: Seriously, Cobb, I am willing to write a song about sexing up an alien for you if it means you’ll fire her and give me the job back.
(2) Bear Grylls
Cobb: Let’s go. I estimate we only have ten minutes to locate the Chancellor and track her to the location of the lock box. Anyone have any final quest…
Eames: THAT WOLF IS EATING THAT PROJECTION.
Ariadne: Wait, how are we supposed to get to Berlin from here? Where are we?
Eames: WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW. IT’S LOOKING OVER HERE.
Bear: In order to survive and reach the safety of Berlin, we will need to quickly trek westwards out of these mountains. The first thing we need to do is…
Arthur: If the next words out of your mouth have anything to do with drinking my own urine, I’m going to use you as a human shield when Mal comes for us.